It’s irrelevant

In the place of quiet introspection, I found myself thinking about a question I had heard Mike Murdoch ask on his telecast a little earlier in the day. Don’t ask me what he was speaking about. I really wasn’t paying attention, but somehow I caught the question ‘What would you do, if you could start your life all over again?' and it stuck in my subconscious.

I sat back and thought my life over in perhaps what was the most detailed review I had ever allowed myself in years. As you would imagine, my mind went first to all my many failings over the course of my life. Remarkable really, how readily the mind recalls our shortcomings and mistakes from forever ago. If I had a hundred bucks for every negative my mind played out in that short place of time, I could probably have bought myself a Ferrari the next day. Yep! If any of us could package our sins of the past – small, medium, large and humongous, into boxes for which we would be paid a hundred dollars per kg, the world would be filled only with multi-millionaires, nest pas? I make this clarification in the hope that no one reading this will be sitting back now and trying to figure out just how bad I had been if I could afford a Ferrari for my past failings, lol.

Seriously though, my introspection was not just about sin. It was also about the many “coulda-shoulda-woulda” issues in my life. It was about those things I did or didn’t do because I thought I knew better, and which time, experience and maturity have shown me I was wrong about. My introspection was about the things I allowed myself to do or not do because quite simply, I was afraid; or in some other cases, too concerned about the opinions of others. I found myself thinking about opportunities I had procrastinated away, areas where I simply allowed laziness to collaborate with the passage of time and prevent me from something I still find myself wishing I had done.

Then of course, there was the sin part. Oh boy! But I wish I could do away with the sin part. And I so wish I could will myself to finish this post without dwelling on the sin part. But truth again, is that the recollection of past sins was a big part of my thoughts surrounding the question of what I would do if I could start my life all over again. It surely was! Quite simply sis, because my commitment to you is to be authentically and uniquely me, I can’t find it in my heart to be cute about the weight of my past sins – small, medium, large and humongous, of which I have a history of my fair share of each. And you know what happens when we begin to mentally revisit our past sins don’t you sis? Yup! The spirit of condemnation begins to wrap his slithery self all around our hearts and minds, with that leering, jeering grin on his face. He is almost vibrating in the intensity of his joy as he thinks to himself ‘gatcha’. What a loser!

I will admit that when that spirit begins to come upon us, many of us - myself included, inadvertently begin to cooperate with him – almost mentally directing him to the corners of or hearts where he can sink his longest talons. From that simple question Mike Murdoch posed, I found myself in my little corner in the space of minutes, struggling with a sense of sadness regarding how much more different my life would have been if I had done this, or hadn’t done that; said this or not said that; said no here, or yes there; refused to compromise here, or been a bit more flexible there; yada yada yada.

Thankfully, the Word we have hidden in our hearts pushes right back, refusing to let the enemy take hold. God, in His infinite mercies, always brings us back to the place of remembrance of the abiding truth of His incredible indescribable abounding love for us. And He brought me back with a clarity that I want to share with you today sis. God reminded me, as He does you, that His love and His grace have covered and washed away our every sin, every mistake and every failing of the past, of the present and of the future. Halleluyah! This is a simple truth which those of us who have been saved by grace, and who stand boldly under the cover of God’s righteousness, fully trusting in the redemptive work of Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary, know that we know that we know. The beauty of this knowing, is that no matter how hard pressed we are, we do not stay down, because the Word illuminates our spirits, washes us afresh and causes us to rise up again. Don’t know about you sis, but I’m so glad for the measure of faith that has been imparted to me which is more than able to see me through my darkest of times. I’m so grateful to God because He is my forever and again Helper!

I laughed out loud as the Lord reminded me that grace has done a finished work in me, and that who I am now is no relation of who I used to be. I may still struggle in the flesh as we all do, but my spirit is on a very different track, in tandem with my Maker – daily being conformed to His image and glory. Then the Lord said something to me, which though you and I already know, just happened to hit me in a really much more profound way that day. Yes sis, He gave me a response to the question, ‘What would you do, if you could start your life all over again?‘

Very simply, the Lord said to me, ‘It’s irrelevant!’

'It’s irrelevant?' I asked? ‘Yes’, He said, ‘It is!’. It’s irrelevant because if you could start your life all over again, even if you knew the outcomes of the things that in your view you got wrong the first time, you would still then go ahead to make new sets of mistakes, sin new sets of sins, etc. …....Bottom-line, even if you could start your life all over again, you would still be the You that you are, because you wouldn't know to be any other you than the you that you would be!

My first reaction was huh? And the second was ‘Deep!’ Absolutely fantastic response! I mean think about it sis. So many of us go about wishing our lives were so different, so much more like the lives of someone or the other that we know or think we know. We are sometimes so bogged down by what we perceive to be imperfections in or own lives, so fascinated by the apparent 'perfections' in the life of another, that we forget that everyone has one thing or the other they are dealing with. Besides, if we were the other person, we wouldn't know any better anyway. What we would know would be the sets of issues and realities that person (in that case, ourselves) have to struggle with daily…. And guess what? Unless we have that inner peace which God alone can give about who we truly are; unless we learn to take our true identities in Him; we would then still be the ‘we’ that we are, struggling and wishing we were someone else, or had someone else’s life… or could start our own lives over again. How incredibly pointless if that?

So here’s what I leave you with today sis – you are created uniquely YOU! Walk in it! Every ‘issue’ in your life has been and is for a purpose… for you to mature into the fullness of who God has designed you to be. It might not always feel like there is purpose in your messes, it may not always make sense, it may hurt...but if you trust in the One Who knows the end from the beginning and Who called you for His glorious purpose; then find that place of full acceptance of every area of your life. Let go of any regrets and embrace all you have ever been and who you are today. Enjoy you sis! Enjoying you brings all glory to God and gives you that inner peace that allows you open your spirit more easily to hear and know His express will and plans for your life. Everything else is simply irrelevant sis. It simply is!

Love YOU, sis! For you really can’t love the God you don’t see, if you can’t fully love the ‘You’ that you do see daily. You are His express manifestation of glory sis. As you learn to love you even more – messes, struggles, imperfections and all, you will grow in expressions of His love to His children on the earth. I can’t imagine anything that would please Him all the more. He did say the greatest commandment was to love your neighbor as yourself right? Yup! He certainly did! I'm not looking to start my life all over again sis. I'm working what I've got as best I can. Be encouraged today sis. Your wishes and regrets for the past are irrelevant. I pray you will find it in you to enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going. 

Be blessed sis… for you surely are!