It all adds up

I should have figured something was up. On my way to church, a TD Jakes message played on the radio. He was talking about the storms of life and how the storms ceased once Jesus got in the boat. He said how the storm ceasing could be interpreted to mean that the storm was never really a storm in the first place, but an orchestrated event designed to get the disciples (you and I) to invite Jesus take control of their boat. I’d thought about this all the way through to church. At service the visiting pastor began to speak about the sudden storms of life. Then he talked about Peter’s water-walking experience. His message was strong and clear…a call never to look down at the waters but to keep your eyes set on Jesus. I should have seen it, but it was such a beautiful morning, Sunday was. How could I have foreseen? But that’s how life plays it isn’t it?

So I came out of church and as I waited in the car for other members of the family to join me, the preacher I was listening to on a CD also began to speak about the storms of life. And his reference point was? You guessed right – the disciples in the storm! By now I was beginning to pay a bit of attention; not a whole lot though I confess, but enough so as to realize the Lord was saying something. I picked my phone to call my husband who earlier on was on a flight back home. I was still smiling from my conversation with him when I noticed the flashing red message notifications on my phone. I wasn’t smiling a couple of minutes later though!

Yep! Just moments later, I could barely breathe from the intensity of emotions that assailed me from the messages that had come in. Hot tears began to roll down my cheeks. Tell me sis, what do you do when life throws you a sucker-punch? Ever been there? What do you do when in a flash your heart breaks into a million pieces, whereas just moments before you were on a spiritual and emotional high? What do you do when life hits you such that you just don’t know what to do? What do you do when you realize that all you would ever have thought to know to do can’t change a situation?

I struggled through my tears to read two messages in particular from two very dear women in my life. As I read through, I was scared for them and with them; I was disappointed for them and with them; I was as sad as could be for them and with them; I felt an initial sense of hopelessness for and with them; and yes, I was admittedly angry at life for them and with them. The pain I felt was as real and sharp as could be. It took me all of ten minutes to compose myself enough to begin the drive home, and it took every ounce of self-control I had to make that drive. It surely did! It helped that I had my children in the car. I had to get them home safe, regardless.

I have been quiet over the past couple of days since. It would seem that those nearest and dearest to me are grappling with new challenges all of a sudden – challenges with their health, their homes, their children, their businesses. All in the space of a few days, the storms all rolled in together.  But here’s the standard irony of life: the earth didn’t move! As low as I have been in spirit, I have still had to deal with the realities of life. My children have still had to go to school and on time; my meetings have still had to hold at the office; I have still had to deal with paperwork and other office responsibilities; deal with business calls, etc. I have still needed to maintain a professional mien before my staff and colleagues. In this space, my heart stayed heavy. I’m so sure you can relate with this.

But God! Yes sis….But God! I love the fact that when we get to this place, there is always a ‘But God!’ testimony. God always has His way of bringing us back front and center doesn’t He? He sent me an angel today. My sistas had been calling and texting to check up on me all day (love you ladies) but I couldn’t take their calls. I wasn’t about to mess up my mascara at the office (so thankful I can make light of this now) and I knew for certain I would be in tears again if I as much as heard their voices. So I held out for as long as I could. Eventually though, I answered the first of the calls I had a leading to, and God spoke.

It was a simple statement. She called to say I should hang in there; that she loved me and was there for me. And then she said ‘You know that in the middle of all this He is still God right? All this is not a surprise to Him’. And then it hit me! A truth I have always known and which I preach, but which in the storm I was in, the enemy had tried to becloud from me. God is still God! All power belongs to Him! He is in total control! He works to do His will and His good pleasure! His sole objective is to love us, see us through the trials of this earth, and bring us into His love in eternity!

Those simple words reminded me that God is in my boat! He is in the boat with these dear women in my life who are being assailed right now. He is your boat, sis! He was with each of us ever before we knew what was coming, and He will be with us till the very end! I remembered His Word that His strength is made perfect in our weakness and it ministered to me that each of us was in the perfect place for His glory to shine through. I took strength in this truth once again. I don’t need to be strong sis; neither do my sistas; and neither do you. All we need to do is to look unto Jesus! He is our strength! He is our source! It is in Him that we move and live and have our being! Halleluyah!

It all added up, sis. It always all adds up! God is God! We need to walk in this assurance. He never promised us easy! He promised us ‘I will be with you through the storms, through the floods, through the fires’. A clear burden lifted from my heart as the Holy Spirit brought me back to this place of remembrance. This is my sure word to you today sis. Like me, when the storms of life come to buffet you or those so dear to you that you feel their pain as deeply; look up sis! Look up! There is One Who says He is working ALL things out for your good and mine. All He asks is that we trust HIM, storms and all…. It will all add up in the end…. for your good, and for mine.

Be blessed sis….. for you surely are.