Come Back to Purpose

Hiatus….     /hʌI’ ertəs/

Google definition: “Noun meaning:   a pause or break in continuity in a sequence or activity.”

Synonyms: pause, break, interval, interruption, suspension, intermission, interlude, gap, lacuna, lull, rest, respite, breathing space, time out.

Vocabulary.com definition: “A temporary gap, pause, break, or absence can be called a hiatus. When your favorite TV show is on hiatus, it means there are no new episodes – not forever, just for a little while. Even things that go on for a long time take a break once in a while: one kind of break is a hiatus.”

Urbandictionary.com definition:  top definition: A gap or interruption in time or continuity; a break. Eg: ‘my blog will be on hiatus for a while”

I love this last definition and I’m guessing by now that it’s clear why I am starting out today with an English lesson right? Ah yes, my precious sister…. Yours truly has been on hiatus from this platform. I haven’t written a post since July, though I can admit to you that I started three posts in September which I never got to finish. Life’s responsibilities have pulled at me from every side, and it has been the busiest of months for me recently. Over the summer, I had what I thought to be probably the longest, richest, most restful, emotionally and spiritually fulfilling holiday in quite a while. And I so needed it….I really and truly did! Within a couple of weeks after I came home however, I felt like I never actually went on holiday. It was like a whole pile of responsibilities had stood back watching me lounge on vacation, and determined to themselves to move in on me with rapid succession immediately I returned. Such is life, isn’t it? Reality always awaits you…. you may go on holiday, but life doesn’t lol.  

Add to all this the fact that I also moved into a new season of life. My daughter joined her older brothers in Canada, and my once ‘little man’ and baby of the house (who by the way, is over six feet tall now) went off to boarding school; and so I officially became an ‘intermittently  transient empty-nester’. It’s a mouthful, I know…but it’s way better than the alternative and sooner-than-later to be reality of just simply being a complete empty-nester. Did I hear you ask what the difference is, sis? Well for a few years yet, I will still have a full (or almost full) house on vacations. Yyyyaaayyy! In this season for instance, my quiver is full as all my children are home for Christmas, but in a few years… it just won’t be that easy to swing this, will it? Hmm!

I know those who are currently in my position or who’ve been here before and already have an empty nest can relate. If you are laughing at me however because your children are still quite young; if you are yet to have children; or if you are still single… SAVE THIS POST! I can assure you that you will read it with understanding in a few years’ time, and I can promise you that it will happen much sooner than you ever thought.

It’s an interesting phase…coming home to an empty home. There are no messes, order everywhere, and the silence is palpable. I initially spent the first couple of days post-vacation doing some spring cleaning that was honestly way too intense for someone who’d just come back from a long trip a couple of days earlier. I later realized though that it was therapeutic for me as it helped me to recreate my spaces for the next season. Let’s not mention that it also helped me not to focus too much on how lonely I could otherwise have been if I let my emotions hold sway. I had made up my mind to deal this new phase of life with an understanding that while it would take its own period of adjustment, this season also opens me up to do more for God in even more unique ways. I had primed myself mentally for months about this time, but let me tell you that it’s hard, sis. I can’t tell you how many times I walked into the quiet and simply burst into tears. I can’t tell you how many times I went and opened the doors to my children’s room and just stood and stared, not sure exactly if I expected them to magically jump out of their closets and yell ‘surprise’, but nonetheless feeling a sense of closeness to them just by being in the spaces they would otherwise occupy if they were physically present. It’s gotten much better with time, but I am still constantly talking to myself – reassuring myself that this is my best season yet, that I can handle it, that I will be just fine, that I will not be overwhelmed by the loneliness; but will rather use this season to pour more of myself into others that need a touch from God through me.

This is one of the things that I want to speak into your spirit today, sis….. the fact that it’s your choice how you embrace the ebbs and flows, tides and turns of the seasons of your life. If you more readily embrace the season, determining to make the right choices – mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, regardless of how difficult it can get - you will ultimately thrive in it. Each new season comes with some adjustments, but embrace each of them! Sometimes you will be strong and sometimes you will be weak… either position is okay as long as you keep God in the midst of it, and trust Him to help you through daily. If you don’t embrace your seasons however, you will find yourself wallowing in depression sooner than later… the irony being that depression doesn’t reduce the length of the season (but it sure compounds the intensity). Life will happen regardless! Better to be in acceptance and embrace mode, I assure you sis!

This morning I found myself remembering that day when we dropped my daughter off at school. Hot silent tears were streamed down my face as we drove away. This was her first time away from home and it was hard knowing I wouldn’t have my ‘twinnie-me’ around for a while. I tried to remind myself that she was going to be away because she was moving forward in life, which is a great thing. But honestly, I really needed encouragement from the Lord so I took a deep breath and looked up towards the heavens, a silent prayer of help on my lips. As I looked up, I saw the moon. Only about a third of it was visible. Something about it held my attention however and as I stared at it, the Holy Spirit ministered to me. He said to me that while on the face of it, it appeared that darkness covered two-third of the moon, there was still a brilliant light behind that apparent darkness nonetheless. He said to me that even darkness has purpose, and it is important in dark times to remember that the light is always there and that it would unfold and become visible in its fullness in its due season. Wow! Sis, even as I recall this, I still feel the same goosebumps I felt that day. It was as much a relevant word in that season as it is today. Go read Genesis 1 verses 14 to 18, sis. I pray God will clarify this for you in His own unique way.

And this brings me back to ‘Hiatus’, the word I started with today. Sis, there will be those seasons in our lives when it looks like the darkness is taking over. The darkness can manifest through a myriad of problems - illness, frustrations, financial lack, relationship issues, work issues, confusion, depression, false accusation, intimidation, and so on. Many times the darkness may involve a combination of many issues at the same time. Many times, the darkness would seem to have covered almost two-thirds of your life and it may be taking everything you have to keep your eyes on the bright spots in your life. The ‘darkness’ is not always a bad thing though, and I need to clarify that. Sometimes, darkness is just a lot of busyness and activities that overwhelm you, try to tire you out, and ultimately steal your joy. Regardless of its source or form, darkness is designed to create distractions from your core assignments; designed to keep you from manifesting God’s best as He has purposed for you to walk in during your time here on earth. Darkness creates frustrations and a lack of fulfillment that comes from your knowing there is so much more that your life can and should yield, but which you are unable to think, to see, to touch, or make time for.

Sis, darkness can put you in hiatus mode, as it did me. My darkness has been unprecedented busyness compounded by some other challenges here and there, situations I have had to manage, assumed-rested battles that resurfaced. But you know what? When the vicissitudes of life put you in hiatus mode for a while, you have to remind yourself constantly that hiatus is not your default mode. You were designed for impact, for influence, for productivity, for fruitfulness! You were brought forth to deliver specific assignments to the world, and you should not ultimately leave this earth with anything you should have delivered to it while you are here. You have to keep your eyes focused on God from Whom your help comes, to draw strength from Him and let His light dispel the darkness in the way He alone knows how.  

This is what I chose to do, sis. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this platform is part of my assignment from God for this season of my life. I knew I couldn’t deal with the growing lack of fulfillment I have felt for so long in my time of absence. And so I had to choose to focus on the light which for me has been all the past testimonies from people who have been blessed by my posts and the books that have come out of this platform. The light for me was God’s constant reminder of my commitment to be resilient in this assignment, the promise to myself to always come back no matter how long I have been away. You know sis, I made the excuse for myself for quite a while that I was perhaps suffering from writers block. But I realized a couple of days ago that an excuse was all it was. In reality, I had allowed the darkness to hold sway. I had started to allow myself think like the darkness wanted me to – that I don’t have time to write, that I wasn’t even sure anymore what I wanted to blog about, that I wasn’t certain I had a message that was relevant in this season, that my audience has probably moved on anyway, etc etc etc. no wonder I found myself drawing a total blank each time I as much as thought to sit down and make this happen. Following from this realization though, I made a commitment to myself yesterday that I would focus on the light – and the light is an understanding that I this post is not about me writing for writing sake; no, it is about God’s call on my life. And my heart’s desire sis, is to fulfill that call.

The light is about the number of people who have asked why I haven’t written anything for a while because they were always blessed by my posts. The light is about the fact that you are reading this today, and I know God will use this to also bring a commitment on your part to look past whatever is stifling or causing His assignments in your life to stagnate, and make you determine to start again. The light is about me yielding myself afresh to doing what I know will deliver glory to God, and making a fresh commitment to intentionally create time going forward to deliver on my Kingdom assignments, regardless of the things that would otherwise pose as distractions to my ability to do so. The light I choose to focus on, is the understanding that life will pull at me from different directions, and it will sometimes try to get me to bow my head, but I will keep looking up to the hills and know that I am already helped and that indeed I can do all things through Christ; and that my desire is to do the will of Him Who sent me to this earth. The light is about me being intentional about not wasting heaven’s investment in me!

Sis, please check your own space and ask yourself where you have been on a hiatus, and where you need to step back into what you know God would have you do. Look at the things that are covering your assignment, and then speak to God about it, sis. Ask Him to help you refocus on the light so that you can not only do His will, but also live a more fruitful and fulfilling life in the process. I don’t want to go on. This post is long enough as it is. But please don’t let today end without coming back as I have to the place of intentionality of purpose. You can never be truly happy until you walk your way back there, sis. I can tell you this for free from experience. God has something great He has purposed to birth through your life and daily walk with Him…and you already know this. Come back, sis. Enough with the hiatus! Vacation season is over! Come back to delivering on destiny! The Lord will help you sis, even as He has surely helped and will keep helping me.

Be blessed sis…. For you surely are!

Here's wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas